I was my enemy

Letter to self, from the city of nothingness:

For all the times I did wrong to you, for all the days you spent shedding tears, for all the nights you spent waiting, I AM SORRY.
I am sorry my dear! for I always made you feel worse, I always put you second even though you were the first. I always left you alone knowing that I am the only one you're relying upon.
I know you were glowing and I killed you by my bare hands.
I know you were running and I stopped you and then you never took a step again. NEVER.
I know you were about to fly and I burnt your wings and left you helpless, oh! I still remember how you looked with those teary red eyes.
I know you were trying your best and then there I was pushing you back with all my force.
Our time was hard, and so were we. For us, things never turned out as we always wanted them to be.
Believe me, all those nights you spent alone I was with you, for you were my only go-to place.
For all the paths you crawled upon, I was with you, right at your back, crawling.
Things were never that easy for me too. I never harmed you intentionally. HOW CAN I EVEN THINK THAT?
Sometimes out of love we harm people, we harm our selves, maybe that was all I did, Maybe that was my fallacy. I got conscious about things that were meant to be left the way they were. Not all things need amendments, I forgot that.
I remember all those rainy nights when we had coffee together, You opened up to me as you were so full of grudges and fears, those were halting your path towards self goodness, and healing.
But I am sorry that every time you cried in front of me I never wiped your tears off because I wanted you to learn it to do for yourself.
Whenever you hang your head down low, I didn't yell at you to chin up because I wanted you to feel it all the way down to your spine so that it can go away. Forever.
For all the times I haven't lifted you up, all the times I was not all ears to listen to what was bothering you, I didn't stand up for you and left you alone in all those battlefields, you were so scared of.
Because I just wanted you to learn and grow alone. ALL ALONE.
Look! Have you noticed how beautifully you changed after that?
You now stand up for yourself without waiting for anyone, You now are fighting alone. You now have recognized self-worth, You now know how capable you're, you are now trusting your own steps.
I was never against you, we were never foes, remember? We cant be, we were the only ones we ever had.
Now that you're all grown up, I wanted you to remember, please take notes that; it's okay to cry, it's okay to fall, it's okay to feel down. It's okay to bleed.
All you gotta do is learn to wipe your tears on your own, get up every time you fall down, bleed but it's important to heal afterward. Embrace the feeling and kill it. It's okay to crawl but it's not okay to stop. Stoping is not even an option.
Be proud of who you're.


Regards,
Your ownself